Today's broadcast of Chillingham Travesty's talk show had some startling revelations for the campaign,as secrets in the past of Troll Party Candidate Ralph(the Prophet) came to light.
The Biography,entitled " Ralph:Story of an American Hero" made notes of his early history,including that he had been married to one Phyllus Smegma-Diddlefiddle. Ralph himself,on September 13,2007 had previously said this:
"SHE'S DEAD!DEAD!SHE CAN'T EVEN THINK!"
Of course,it was not surprising that the candidate began looking for a trophy wife,under those circumstances. Now it seems that this may have been an untruth,as Chillingham Travesty has had a woman on her show today,claiming to be the candidate's wife!
Transcript as follows:
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Chillingham: "Okay,so you're actually Ralph's wife? Tell us about it."
Phyllus(allegedly): "Well,me 'n Ralphie gots married when we's just kids. He's allus wanted ter be Preznit. He lef' a few months ago,while I was out back cookin' chitlins. I thought he wuz goin to the store,but he never came back! Armageddon called wonderin' where her daddy got off to. I don't got no tv,but the newspaper came yesterday and there he wuz!"
Chillingham: "He was in the paper?"
Phyllus(allegedly): "Ayuh. Jus' as big as life! We done thought somethin' had a happen'd to him. Then I got ter readin',and it said he wa lookin' fer a wife! I'm his wife! Why's he need 'nother one?"
------------------------------------------------------------
We followed Mrs. Smegma(Diddlefiddle) home as part of our investigation,and true enough,she does indeed live in a small backwoods cabin. There are numerous doghouses in front,and several photographs of Troll Party candidate Ralph in the home.
We spoke to Phyllus as well,who I might add is a rather sweet woman,though she's a might narrow between and hard on the eyes. She laid out a sketch of their life,which strangely coincides with the biography. Our team is working diligently to solve this mystery for our readers.
Spokesmen for the Ralph/Blat 2008 campaign weren't available for comment,and the candidate seems to have dropped off the map,somewhere in the Appalachian Mountains.
The Biography,entitled " Ralph:Story of an American Hero" made notes of his early history,including that he had been married to one Phyllus Smegma-Diddlefiddle. Ralph himself,on September 13,2007 had previously said this:
"SHE'S DEAD!DEAD!SHE CAN'T EVEN THINK!"
Of course,it was not surprising that the candidate began looking for a trophy wife,under those circumstances. Now it seems that this may have been an untruth,as Chillingham Travesty has had a woman on her show today,claiming to be the candidate's wife!
Transcript as follows:
-------------------------------------------------------------
Chillingham: "Okay,so you're actually Ralph's wife? Tell us about it."
Phyllus(allegedly): "Well,me 'n Ralphie gots married when we's just kids. He's allus wanted ter be Preznit. He lef' a few months ago,while I was out back cookin' chitlins. I thought he wuz goin to the store,but he never came back! Armageddon called wonderin' where her daddy got off to. I don't got no tv,but the newspaper came yesterday and there he wuz!"
Chillingham: "He was in the paper?"
Phyllus(allegedly): "Ayuh. Jus' as big as life! We done thought somethin' had a happen'd to him. Then I got ter readin',and it said he wa lookin' fer a wife! I'm his wife! Why's he need 'nother one?"
------------------------------------------------------------
We followed Mrs. Smegma(Diddlefiddle) home as part of our investigation,and true enough,she does indeed live in a small backwoods cabin. There are numerous doghouses in front,and several photographs of Troll Party candidate Ralph in the home.
We spoke to Phyllus as well,who I might add is a rather sweet woman,though she's a might narrow between and hard on the eyes. She laid out a sketch of their life,which strangely coincides with the biography. Our team is working diligently to solve this mystery for our readers.
Spokesmen for the Ralph/Blat 2008 campaign weren't available for comment,and the candidate seems to have dropped off the map,somewhere in the Appalachian Mountains.
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