Vice-Presidential Candidate Blat has been positively located at last. Police report that he is in a holding cell in Washington, D.C.
According to a spokesperson for the Washington police, a man resembling the candidate joined a tour of the Capitol this morning, and was later found wandering by himself in a portion of the building off-limits to tourists. Asked what he was doing there, he replied, "I’m picking out my new office." When security personnel tried to escort him off the premises, he grew abusive and accused them of being terrorists. A crowd gathered as he was stuffed into a paddy wagon screaming "Die! Die! Die!"
Blat is now facing criminal prosecution for numerous breaches of Capitol security. In addition, Tony Leung of Baltimore has identified the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile found on a Washington side street as his own, and Blat as the man who carjacked it yesterday. As a result further charges may be laid.
When he heard of the incident, Ralph remarked, "IT’S ALL THE WORK OF PIAPS!!! SHE AND HER AMERICA-HATING FEMINAZI DEMLIB STORM TROOPS WILL STOP AT NOTHING!!! BUT I WILL PREVAIL!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!