Saturday, June 23, 2007

Welcome To The Campaign!

Wee Nelson said it best over at Newshounds' Off-Topic Forum: "...maybe we should start a Ralph for President campaign."

Truly, Rapture Ralph is a candidate made for our (end) times. He's staunch in his ideals. He never wavers even in the face of facts. He knows his position (usually something involving "HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE!"), his audience (primarily Newshounds, so far as we can tell), and where to find the CAPS LOCK key. Well...at least, some of the time. On days not ending in "y."

And who better as a running mate than Blat? Or, as we originally knew him, our dearly-beloved "blathe." Our favorite network marketer's war cry of "Die! Die! Die! Die!" is a worthy companion to Ralph's own motto. As V.P., there is no doubt he would swig "Vibe" vitamin tonic as avidly as Dead-Eye Dick now downs the blood of countless innocents.

Add to that the unusual fact that each of them actually makes the other look good in some way, and you have the makings of a history-changing campaign.

So, with this, the team at Rapture Ralph for President welcomes you all to what will no doubt be a spirited and frequently incoherent campaign. We give you, ladies and gentlemen, the next President and Vice President of these United States: RALPH and BLAT! Lunatic candidates for a crazy world!

7 comments:

Count Istvan said...

Ralph 2008!

Aunty Em Ericann said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Aunty Em Ericann said...

Rapture Ralph and Blat all the way in '08.

Let's make the White House the WHITE! HOUSE! again.

With all my love,
Aunty Em

theroachman said...

Ah Mountianbike!

Wee Nelson said...

Ralph rules!

Secret Rapture said...

My inaugural address at the Great White Throne Judgment of the Dead, after I have raptured out billions! The Secret Rapture soon, by my hand!
Read My Inaugural Address
My Site=http://www.angelfire.com/crazy/spaceman

vermontdave said...

I love Kucinich, but realistically have been leaning towards Edwards.
This, however, changes everything!

RAPTURE RALPH 08!!!!!!!