Is there a plot brewing against VP Candidate Blat?
Campaign HQ has just received this memo from the Assistant to the Assistant Director, Ralph!2008 for President, NE District
"RE: VP/Running Mate Short List
In light of problems concerning current VP Candidate, here's a few names to consider as potential replacement:
1. David Duke
2. Richard Cheney
3. Emperor Palpatine
4. Michael "Heck of a job, Brownie" Brown
5. Ted Haggard (100% cured and ready to party!)
6. Russell Crowe (He promises to dress & act like "Maximus" character from Gladiator
7. Jesus Christ (He promises to stop acting like a dirty hippie)
Not a bad crop. I'm leaning JC but it entirely up to Ralphie.
P.S. All potential VP candidates have been contacted and are EXTREMELY interested. "
Our Regional Director for the Great Lakes/ Midwest Region suggests that we add Ted Nugent to the list. The geriatric headbanger has blamed “stoned, dirty, stinky hippies” for “rising rates of divorce, high school drop-outs, drug use, abortion, sexual diseases and crime, not to mention the exponential expansion of government and taxes.” Might be a good fit with our platform.
Blat is, as usual, not available for comment. Despite earlier theories that he was bound for Graceland, he has not been seen there. He has, however, been spotted in Nashville. He reportedly bought a late-model National M2 Mahogany Body at Artisan Guitars (don’t ask me where he got the money) and has been seen hanging out at the historic Tootsie’s Orchid Lounge. It’s quite possible that he doesn’t know of this new development in his campaign.
WHAT DO YOU THINK? Should Blat be replaced? Don't let Ralph know yet, OK?