Thursday, July 5, 2007

Blat Beware! The Knives are Coming Out!

Is there a plot brewing against VP Candidate Blat?

Campaign HQ has just received this memo from the Assistant to the Assistant Director, Ralph!2008 for President, NE District

"RE: VP/Running Mate Short List

In light of problems concerning current VP Candidate, here's a few names to consider as potential replacement:

1. David Duke
2. Richard Cheney
3. Emperor Palpatine
4. Michael "Heck of a job, Brownie" Brown
5. Ted Haggard (100% cured and ready to party!)
6. Russell Crowe (He promises to dress & act like "Maximus" character from Gladiator
7. Jesus Christ (He promises to stop acting like a dirty hippie)

Not a bad crop. I'm leaning JC but it entirely up to Ralphie.

P.S. All potential VP candidates have been contacted and are EXTREMELY interested. "

Our Regional Director for the Great Lakes/ Midwest Region suggests that we add Ted Nugent to the list. The geriatric headbanger has blamed “stoned, dirty, stinky hippies” for “rising rates of divorce, high school drop-outs, drug use, abortion, sexual diseases and crime, not to mention the exponential expansion of government and taxes.” Might be a good fit with our platform.

Blat is, as usual, not available for comment. Despite earlier theories that he was bound for Graceland, he has not been seen there. He has, however, been spotted in Nashville. He reportedly bought a late-model National M2 Mahogany Body at Artisan Guitars (don’t ask me where he got the money) and has been seen hanging out at the historic Tootsie’s Orchid Lounge. It’s quite possible that he doesn’t know of this new development in his campaign.

WHAT DO YOU THINK? Should Blat be replaced? Don't let Ralph know yet, OK?

4 comments:

Count Istvan said...

Stick with Blat! but Ted Haggard would be a fine replacement.

Sergei Andropov said...

...not to mention the exponential expansion of government and taxes.

Ahhhhh!!!!!!! Hippies in government! With tie-dye suits and Birkenstock wingtips!

Seriously, though, I don't think that any of those potential candidates would qualify since Ralph is running on the Troll ticket, and they're all Republican (except for Palpatine, of the Imperial Party, and Jesus, of the Nazarene Party).

Besides, Blat is so photogenic.

wee nelson said...

I'd go with Russell Crowe just to see him sworn in wearing a Gladiator suit.

I don't know if Jesus would agree to play second fiddle. Or would Ralph agree to play second fiddle to Jesus?

theroachman said...

I do not know that Ralph would play second fiddle to Jesus. There seems to be a disagreement on who should pay for Healthcare

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It is also great to see the campaign is growing and finding new converts

Ah Mountianbike