Monday, July 23, 2007

Who Let the Dogs Out?

Did sales of essential vitamin booster pay for Blat’s epic cross-country journey, abruptly concluded last weekend? Or did he have some other source of support?

Investigative reporter Kate Stone, author of the popular No Stone Unturned column, is getting suspicious. In today's column, titled "Who Let the Dogs Out?" she asked the following questions:

  • Why did the owner of an Oscar Meyer Wienermobile, allegedly carjacked by Blat in Baltimore, abruptly drop charges after a lunch with Karl Rove?
  • Who paid Blat’s $30,000 bail when he was arrested in Washington on breaches of violating Capitol security?
  • Why, when he had been released, was he allowed to go free? Did no one think to put a monitoring device on him? Bail jumping is a criminal offense; particularly, you’d think, for a violation of national security. I mean, we’re at war, aren’t we? We’re fighting them here so we don’t have to fight them over there. Or is it the other way around? Oh, forget it.
  • He was seen many times driving a blue 1973 Ford LTD similar to one reported missing from a Falls Church, VA, parking lot. But no one is hounding the police to "find the son of a bitch who stole my car." Nor is there any indication that the police were following him - and surely a car like that would be hard to miss.
  • Where did he get the money for an expensive guitar and a return Nashville-Kauai-Kennebunkport flight? Did he receive other perks we don’t know about?

Ms. Stone hasn’t answered the questions yet, but she writes, "I’m watching him, and when I get more answers you’ll be the first to know, reader. There was talk of replacing him a while ago. He’d better watch his step; I don’t think the controversy is quite dead yet."

We will give you the response of Ralph and/or Blat when we receive it.

Meanwhile, since his return to the fold Blat has been seen wearing a suit and tie and strutting proudly in Ralph’s shadow. But Zen Caviar, in his "Fine Caviar" blog, reports that Blat told him wistfully, "That was a good time, being on the road. I felt wild and free. You know, like Jack Kerouac or Hunter S. Thompson." Will he hit the road again, do you think?

1 comment:

et said...

If you ask me, IRaveForRalph, Blat is in league with Lindsay Lohan. It's the only possible explanation.

Excellent analysis, as always!