Part III - Porn or Prophecy?

The long-awaited third installment of "The Morning After" finally appeared - and if you wanted graphic, boy did you ever get it! This installment returned us to the orgy in the Lincoln Bedroom. It described in detail the costume worn by PIAPS' nubile interns, including the shaved heads, combat boots and [censored]. It also portrayed Bill Clinton as a red-eyed rapist lurking in White House linen closets.

The installment raised the eyebrows of even his loyal campaign workers. "An alleged Christian, writing pornography," said Sergei Andropov at Ralph2008!'s Left Coast Headquarters, with a shake of his head. "He should really get a hooker," observed vermontdave on the other side of the country. Steve Colbert had much less reticence. "You want Sicko, forget Michael Moore - check out that Ralph dude!" he said on last night's show. "Pull down your Speedos for Jesus. Yeccch."

As for Ralph's "base" - they appear to be still loyal. "It does seem rather over the top," said Pastor Silas Applebee at the Wiggle Hill Tabernacle. "But he's a man of God and there must be a higher purpose to it. God's condoned incest in some circumstances - it said so at the Creation Museum. So God must approve of 'The Morning After.' Let us not question His word." He did admit, though, that he'd have to put the book on his top shelf in a plain brown wrapper, along with the King James Bible.

We don't know what Blat is thinking of the latest controversy. Last we heard he was holed up in Nashville somewhere, trying to figure out how to change chords on his new guitar. We'll update you when we can.