Saturday, August 4, 2007

He Went Way Too Far This Time

The RALPH/Blat campaign may be in serious trouble.

The country was aghast when, only a few hours after the collapse of the I-35W bridge in Minneapolis, the candidate attempted to paint the disaster as a sabotage effort by Senator Clinton.

THIS ATROCITY IS ONLY 4 MILES FROM THE OFFICE OF THE PIAPS FRONT ORGANIZATION, "AMERICA VOTES" AT 1600 UNIVERSITY AVENUE IN SAINT PAUL!!!!! Ralph harangued reporters at a hastily called press conference. "UNIVERSITY AVENUE MUST BE CORDONED OFF AND SEARCH WARRANTS MUST BE SECURED FOR EVERY "AMERICA VOTES" OFFICE!!!!PIAPS IS ON A RAMPAGE!!!!!"

This is the third time RALPH has tried to pin an unfortunate event on Senator Clinton, and it provoked a swift and very angry reaction. His in-box quickly filled with mail describing him as, among other things, a "piece of shit", a "being of hate", a "brain-dead asshole" and "the worst sort of anger-promoting, functionally retarded nutjob."

So far, RALPH has been unapologetic. When challenged by a reporter who called him a "sick motherfucker" he responded, that that was a definition of "ANYONE WHO CONDONES THIS ATTACK IN MN, 9/11, THE MURDER OF KEN FOSTER, AND ANY OF PIAPS AND CLINTOONS OTHER INNUMERABLE CRIMES!!!! DEMLIB EQUALS TERRORIST EQUALS DEMLIB!!!!"

Even some campaign workers think he's gone way too far. "Does he know how much this could set his campaign back?" my colleague RalphyFan asked me over virtual coffee this morning. And I’ve had an e-mail from one W.E. Nelson, who claims to be such a fan of the candidate as to have once written an epic poem about him, but who is now suggesting, "Maybe it’s RALPH that should be replaced, not Blat."

Is that an option? Or should he just pack his campaign in?

2 comments:

et said...

The Ralph/Blat campaign is definitely undergoing a kind of mid-life crisis. Maybe the candidate and his running mate need a quiet weekend alone somewhere to sort things out between them?

The arrival of this strange dude Konservo seems to be turning it into a menage a trois...and, as we know, when there are three in a relationship, it's rather crowded.

Ken Foster said...

I assume when he said "Ken Foster" he meant Vince Foster?

When accusing someone of murder its always smart to get the name of the victim right.