Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Blat Blasts Off Again

Boy, they’re forgetful in Washington! Not that we didn't know that already; but investigative reporter Kate Stone has provided us with further proof.

It was only on June 29 that VP Candidate Blat was bailed out of a Washington jail, where he was being held for breaching Capitol security. Considering the bizarre circumstances of his arrest you'd think a lot of people at the jail might remember him. But no - no one has any memory of the man. In fact, there's no mention of him in the prison records during the period when he was Inside.

Ms. Stone pestered prison officials until they got a court order to keep her away, but she admits she’s drawn a blank. "He’s been wiped out of their collective memory," she writes in today’s No Stone Unturned column. "It’s as if he doesn’t exist - which is especially odd considering there’s two of him now. Either the Washington correctional services bureaucracy has caught en masse the amnesia-inducing disease that afflicts Alberto Gonzales, or there’s something even more sinister at work. Whatever it is, reader, when I find out you’ll be the first to know."

As for Blat himself, being cloned (or whatever it was) seems to have been good for him - it’s allowed him to hit both the campaign trail and the road. Only hours after leaving his "Hollywood Calling Card," California Blat managed to get hold of a silver GMC Sierra with a cab sporting the slogan "I’M AN AMERICAN HERO" painted on a red, white and blue background. He roared out of LA on the I-10 in the early hours of this morning, and was last seen at Medi Evil Tattoo in Yucca Valley, getting a huge eagle, with a banner reading "LOVE AMERICA" in its beak, tattooed on his back. While being worked on he was entertaining a couple of other customers, soldiers from the Mojave Desert Marine Corps Combat Center, by shouting "CHENEY-LOVE! FLAG-WAVING-LOVE! NEW-WORLD-ORDER-LOVE! BOMB-THE-SHIT-OUT-OF-IRAN-LOVE!" He also mentioned he might head to Joshua Tree National Park to "find my head".

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